‘Two-faced’ manager diminishes employee's accomplishments in front of other colleagues but flips a switch in private, sparking employee's concerns: ‘Her behavior is frustrating and feels calculated’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Apr 27, 2025 9:00 AM EDT

More often than not, an employee's manager is not their friend. Heck, they might not even be an acquaintance. The workplace is a dog-eat-dog world, and any employee would be wrong if they assumed their boss liked them simply because they said so. These assumptions are dangerous; You'll be on top of the world one minute, then your boss will give you seven reasons to make you feel like dirt. Like, pick a side!

In the way that you're constantly looking behind you when you're on a deserted street late at night, keeping one eye on your boss at all times is not only something you have to do, but something you should want to do. An entitled boss like the one in this story will walk around thinking they don't need you and will, first and foremost, always look after themselves. You can wash their back and polish their shoes, and it still wouldn't be enough. If you're not careful, you might end up like the employee here, who is getting emotional whiplash from their two-faced manager. Scroll to read.

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  • At the end of the day, your boss is supposed to be looking out for you—they're your mentor, your lifeline to the top. Many bosses view this as a bad thing, though. They're constantly waiting for a moment to knock you down a peg so as to protect the position they have…

  • "She is known by many colleagues to be manipulative and toxic."
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "Two-faced manager who undermines me in front of others but acts friendly in private"

    30M working in a small team of three. I've been in the company for 1.5 years. My direct manager (F28) was recently promoted and has been with the company for 3 years. The third teammate just joined two weeks ago.
    via Bleusombre
  • Since her promotion, my manager has been minimizing my presence and acting two-faced.
    via Bleusombre
  • In 1:1s she tries to appear friendly and collaborative, but in front of upper management, she uses every opportunity to reassert her
    via Bleusombre
  • authority by pointing out my mistakes (when they happen) and acting as though she constantly needs to explain things to me.
    via Bleusombre
  • Cheezburger Image 10497906944
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Her behavior is frustrating and feels calculated. I'm reaching out to ask for advice on what strategy to adopt-both in terms
    via Bleusombre
  • of public interactions (especially in meetings) and private ones (like 1:1s or small team moments).
    via Bleusombre
  • Context she is known by many colleagues to be manipulative and toxic, but she has influence with management because she's close to the right people.
    via Bleusombre
  • Brilliant_Fold_2272 I would just update my resume and look for better opportunities. I don't have time to deal with bad bosses. Life is too short.
    via Brilliant_Fold_2272
  • Only after he retired I found out that he was badmouthing me behind my back the whole time. To others on the team AND to the new manager taking over. Fake ab 1.
    via Brilliant_Fold_2272
  • Appropriate-Ad-4148 Ignore her attitude and keep doing good work. Document everything. If anything comes to a head, be prepared and professional. She will probably shot herself in the foot as long as you stay solid.
    via Appropriate-Ad-4148
  • Realistic-Side 1746 Pointing out your mistakes and explaining things to you is her job. If she acts different when her boss is around, it could be that she's putting on a show for them that has nothing to do with you personally.
    via Realistic-Side1746
  • There's not a lot of content in your post, so if you're sure she's trying to sabatoge you in front of upper management, the only thing to do is find another job probably. If you just don't like that your former colleague is your boss now, get over it.
    via Realistic-Side1746
  • BildoBaggens Anonymous email to the right managers about her behavior but CC the managers that cover for her. Go as high as you can. Make it sound like you're Anonymous because you know she and her manager friends will retaliate.
    via BildoBaggens

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boss antiwork work stories toxic-workplace terrible-bosses bosses work coworkers working toxic-boss workplace Horrible Bosses bad bosses toxic-work-environment in the workplace
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